The Bender Continues
Everyday bros talking about how life goes!
The Bender Continues
TBC Member Spotlight: James LaGamma
Ever wondered how a simple dad joke could transform a high-pressure situation? Join us this week on The Bender Continues as we sit down with James LaGamma, renowned for his legendary dad jokes and exceptional resilience. From his early days as a soccer player to becoming an accomplished football kicker, James shares his journey of navigating intense pressure and high-stakes environments. Hear how humor, positivity, and a strong mental outlook have been his secret weapons, helping him thrive in both sports and the high-stress mortgage industry.
Discover the mental challenges faced by kickers in football and the critical role of muscle memory and practice. James opens up about his personal experiences, revealing the coping mechanisms he developed to manage stress and anxiety during pivotal moments. Techniques like focusing on fundamentals and employing breathing methods, such as the Wim Hof technique, are discussed in detail, offering valuable insights for athletes and anyone facing high-pressure situations.
In the latter part of our conversation, we explore the profound impact of support systems and mental resilience in overcoming adversity. James recounts his harrowing experience of breaking his neck during a game, the journey of recovery, and the invaluable lessons learned along the way. Emphasizing the power of choice in one’s attitude and mood, James's story is a powerful testament to the importance of staying positive and resilient, no matter the circumstances. Don't miss this inspiring episode filled with wisdom, humor, and heartfelt stories that remind us of the strength of the human spirit.
Welcome to the Bender Continues podcast. Joining us is the backbone of the TBC operations and, unfortunately, our dad joke aficionado. Where there's a will, this guy will find a way, no matter the circumstance. He is someone who has always been there when the people need him most. At the drop of a hat, he will do whatever it takes to be necessarily there to support you and support someone in need. Today we have a moment where we can reflect where this man has had our back. Please welcome James Agama, our discussion today.
Kenny Massa:Golf clap, golf clap, a little golf clap.
Jonny Strahl:Our discussion today will take us down the rabbit hole of a pretty serious matter, which is mental health, a topic that can be controversial at times. However, more educating and more coming to light, as we resonate in today's society, how the mental health and the strength of the mind can be as important, or perhaps more important, to the one's physical health.
Ryan Selimos:So join us as we discuss James's experiences, from managing the day-to-day of a collegiate student athlete to the stresses that come with working in the ever-changing mortgage industry and touch on the obstacles we have all faced at one time or another in everyday life. So get comfortable, grab some popcorn and prepare for a discussion on how perspectives and mental outlook keyed success for a member of the TBC family. The Bender Continues podcast presents Embracing Life with Mental Fortitude. The James Legama Experience.
James LaGamma:Wow, mental fortitude.
Ryan Selimos:Big word.
James LaGamma:Well, I can give you a little mental fortitude with a kick us off with a dad joke here. I'm a fan Ready for this fellas.
Jonny Strahl:Yeah, I'm here for it.
James LaGamma:What did baby corn say to mama corn? Where's popcorn? I thought you were going to go with Good good, See we're starting off with a laugh. I thought you were going to go with a laugh here. Good See, we're starting off with a laugh.
Kenny Massa:I thought you were going to go in with a laugh.
James LaGamma:Well, the joke here, Nah, that one's getting retired. I think it's a good one, but we'll save that for another one Is that your go-to.
Kenny Massa:You actually did one off of Wim. You did one off of Wim a couple weeks ago and it was pretty good.
James LaGamma:It was actually pretty good. I tend to do stuff off a whim actually, more often than not. I have a repertoire of dad jokes, but it's hard to call to them.
Ryan Selimos:Is that what keeps you stable? You get a real serious situation. You're able to kind of pull yourself back with a good dad joke or two. It just kind of balances you out.
James LaGamma:Hey, that's what it is, man. Sometimes you just got to spread some laughter.
Kenny Massa:Honestly so you think it like calms. You think it calms the? I guess the setting A good dad joke.
James LaGamma:It definitely can change the mood real quick. I've gotten a lot of looks. Yours is just shaking their heads, but I'll get some laughter and people are like all right.
Kenny Massa:It's almost like an icebreaker, yeah.
James LaGamma:It's kind of like lightens the mood a little bit.
Ryan Selimos:You know as much as you don't want to laugh you just can't help it though, like as, no matter how stupid it is, most of the time you just you crack a smile at the very least.
James LaGamma:So a hundred, most of the time you crack a smile at the very least. So 100%, we have a quote at work. Dad jokes are in the prime right now. They are premium comedy.
Ryan Selimos:We have a quote at work I forget who says it, but it's where there is little laughter there is little success. And I think dad jokes can be a direct correlation to that. Just, you know, just in the workforce, because it's that balance it helps keep it.
James LaGamma:Especially in a high stress environment. 100%.
Ryan Selimos:True, let's talk about high stress high, strong, high stress environments. James Ogama, you know a little bit about your history. You got your Stetson football shirt on. You're an athlete. Right Kickers are athletes too. Let's talk about your journey For the brand baby. For Pat, for Pat McAfee, for the brand let's talk about. You know, it's such a unique position. The kicker, right. You're someone who maybe a lot of people look at a football team and they're like they got to make a joke about someone. It's usually about the kicker or the punter.
Ryan Selimos:And that was you. So how did you wake up and decide? You know, kicking is the route for me. How did we go down this athletic journey and how did we land here? Let's start. Let's tell the people about that.
James LaGamma:I mean to be blunt, it's not a miraculous story. I played soccer for 12 years. That's kind of my first sport that I started out with, and then I wanted to kind of change it up, do something different. So I can't remember the full story on why I actually started to play football. I know my dad played football in high school, so naturally he was excited.
James LaGamma:But they used to claim that they pulled me off the soccer field, saw me kicking the, you know, like a goal kick or something like that. We're like, oh, this kid's got a leg, let's bring him on. And back then in Little League, you know kids couldn't kick farther than like 10 yards, 20 yards. I mean we kick farther than like 10 yards, 20 yards. Maybe we were what? In sixth, seventh grade. So yeah, I just tried out for football. I didn't just play kicker in Little League, I played a lot of other positions running back, wide receiver, db, basically all the skill positions. I had a little bit more speed, you know. It kind of came in handy. But yeah, no, kicking was always something that I enjoyed, I was good at, and naturally when you're good at something, you, you, you tend to pursue it, and so I kind of fizzled out of soccer, where obviously everything was, you know, kicking a soccer ball. Now I'm just kicking a football and I had a lot of fun doing it.
Ryan Selimos:Very nice Is that. You know that transition. You got into high school obviously we know college like it was just football high school. Were you a dual sport athlete? Was it just kind of football all the way, just as kicker? What was kind of a little bit of the context there? I mean you went to St Thomas Aquinas Palace, so what was that?
James LaGamma:like I feel like that's kind of the answer in itself. I went to St Thomas, so it's hard to compete in other positions and it's almost a full-time job there. I wasn't a dual sport person at that time anyways, I kind of strictly was playing football. I did try out for the soccer team but didn't didn't make it, so it was fine, um, and I just put all my focuses on kicking but I did not play any other position because everyone else there was phenomenal at their role on the team. Very few people uh played not only more than one position, uh, potentially on on one side of the ball, but rarely played on both sides of the balls, which I know a lot of people in high school will play both sides of the ball. So you kind of stuck to one position and you honed in on your craft there. So that's naturally what I did with kicking and, funny enough, I actually had three kicking coaches at St Thomas, which vastly, vastly changed when I went to college.
James LaGamma:But I predominantly did a place kicking in a high school for the first few years. It wasn't until my senior year that I transitioned to me doing more punting and shared a little bit of time with place kicking. Kickoffs weren't really my thing. I just didn't have the biggest leg as I got older so we kind of fizzled out on that. But punting was something I just enjoyed so much and I still enjoy it. If I were to keep playing football I would probably go for being a punter rather than a place kicker. Less stress on a punter than there is a place kicker.
Kenny Massa:True, very true.
Jonny Strahl:That is very true. I've got a. I've got a question, james. So you talked about the stress on a kicker and obviously being in that setting, being in the environment where all eyes are on the kicker at some point right, you have the kicker at some point right. You have the weight of the entire team, a stadium looking at you. I mean shoot you kicked in the Dallas Cowboys Stadium, right, like pretty cool stuff. That's awesome.
Jonny Strahl:You also have the opportunity to be the hero on the flip side, the villain, right, or the person who just failed I guess, obviously we love you, we do respect the kickers, we respect the punters, we respect the brand, but what I think we all really really like and really enjoy and really understand from your sake is you know, how does one kind of cope with that pressure when you're in the moment? Cause I think it's incredible to be able to deal with that, that type of stress and anxiety, to be honest, yeah, um, I've only actually been put in that situation once.
James LaGamma:Uh, where it was to win the game, it was little league and it took us to the Super Bowl. We lost said Super Bowl Miserably. I don't think we got. I think we got like two first downs. It was awful. It came out of nowhere, but we were a powerhouse that year. I think Ryan was the year before you guys won it, but let me tell you, I put and it's funny because I, I put, I did not expect this to go peewee football.
James LaGamma:Oh yeah, 100%. Oh shit, it was a 40-yard field goal. Peewee football, that's big time. That was in seventh grade, hilarious. But no, I rarely have I been put in that position because once I got into high school the competition was just a little different. We were really good and we were putting up 40 to 50 to 60 points a game. There really wasn't times where there was a field goal riding on me, very few. I've had a couple of opportunities where maybe an onside kick was happening and that kind of has a similar pressure to it, true, and then in college it's unfortunate but we sucked. You know We'll get there about how bad we were in college Jeez, let's cut that.
James LaGamma:Listen, man, sometimes you got to be honest with yourself. Listen, man, sometimes you got to be honest with yourself. And it wasn't too many seasons where we went a Snapchat out there, when I kicked a field goal against San Diego and it was a long field goal too, I think it was like a 40-plus and I missed it and we were losing, I think, 40 or 50 to zero.
Jonny Strahl:And then she posts, can't even make a field goal Damn.
James LaGamma:Little did she know that was her future. Yeah, that was her future husband, uh, but no, and then someone went on there. I was like take that down, that's bad, but I mean I've I've heard it all over the place. I've seen kickers get death threats. I've seen uh you know kickers having to carry a gun around on campus in some of these colleges because they're scared like legit. I've seen kickers, though, also come off of a couch because the other kickers got hurt and balled out.
James LaGamma:It's really hard to say when it comes to coping with the stress. I kind of bring it down to like two main factors. You're in a game situation. I feel like you guys probably have the same, similar concepts, maybe, in your positions, but you, you practice so much that you rely on that practice to become muscle memory, and so, when you get up there, you just react Um, I mean kicking.
James LaGamma:Kicking is very fundamental. Uh, it's no different than golf. Your foot is literally the golf club, and so, if anyone ever wants to complain about a kicker again, they can realize oh, how you do on the golf course. If you do well, then fuck me, but anyways, then you kind of go to your fundamentals. The way I've always approached it, though, is you want to focus on like two to three things at most that day. Like you kind of go through your warmups, you figure out where you're kicking, how things are going, when that kind of stuff and you kind of focus on two things, you're like, okay, this is the things that I need to focus in on. I key in on, that's it. If you worry about a million things, everything's going to go wrong. That happened to me every single time, so I always find that two to three controllables is always the best way to go, to be most successful.
James LaGamma:But another thing that I did, too, that I think kind of layers into this topic, is breathing techniques. So when you do get nervous or excited or anxious or stressed out, one of my coaches actually gave me a breathing technique, which it was pretty simple. It was just two big inhales, hold and exhale nice and long, and for some reason, he told me to like make a triangle with my hand and kind of just focus in on that, and then it kind of just made everything go away. You kind of block out the noise and you're able to just go out there and do your thing, like you don't hear the heckling that's on the field and all that stuff. Do your thing Like you don't hear the heckling that's on the field and all that stuff.
James LaGamma:But I've realized recently that breathing techniques has been a big thing in the mental health discussions. One of the ones that have been going around a lot on social media lately is the Wim Hof breathing technique and it's pretty, pretty intense, from what I understand. I've never tried it. It's, it's a. It's not the longest thing, but it's. There's a lot of holding of your breath and you can pass out. So they always say make sure you're in a controlled environment when you do it. But I've heard great things about it. Love that.
Kenny Massa:It's interesting that you say that you haven't had that many case scenarios where you've been in a position where you've had to come into like this clutch scenario. I feel like many times you see professional athletes especially you know, in. You know, at the NFL, you see kickers having to come to the stage pretty frequently. It's like a frequent thing in their season. Now, of course there's the one you know. There's sometimes where there's one circumstance that helps them win a game or whatnot, but like if they're having a difficult season, the kicker is one of the most crucial players and they continue to be that most crucial player. And you can see a trend sometimes with these seasons and it's surprising between you know, you hit what Pop Warner football, college football, high school football, all these games. I mean dozens and dozens and dozens of games and you haven't had that situation. So that's pretty unique.
James LaGamma:Had it once. But yeah, I mean every kick is still a pressure kick because most of the time, if you think about it from, like where are we at on the scoreboard, maybe that field goal puts us just above the team, the team that we're playing against. So maybe it's like that we're seven to seven. This puts us at ten. Uh, but it's never been a game. Ending is kind of what I want to uh put on the stage therefore. So um, but there's still.
Kenny Massa:Every kick's a pressure kick let me ask you you know one other thing that I was. I'm sorry, go ahead, right, I was know.
Jonny Strahl:and one other thing that I was I'm sorry, go ahead, ryan, I was going to say Well, one other thing Go, kenny, I'm going to shut the fuck up.
Kenny Massa:Well, one other thing that I was thinking about is like kickers are another. It's an interesting position because you know, from a DB perspective or a tight end or wide receiver perspective, they get rotated out pretty frequently because of their level of activity. One they're running pretty aggressively, you know they can be running pretty hot or an injury can happen, because you know just the nature of the game and if that happens to a kicker, that could be like crucial to a team season. Like you know, you have a kicker and you don't have five kickers deep. In most cases the kicker is really unique. They're really leaning on that kicker for his health, for the longevity of the season. They know that with high impact positions the likelihood of something happening is there.
Kenny Massa:The reason why I bring this up is because you've been in case scenarios and we've been fortunate to meet one of your I would say your duo in high school and he's become a great friend of ours as well with Nolan. And then in college you had others that you shared experiences with and kind of had, I would say, a a dual kind of kind of role in your, the dual kind of role in your, in your position, in both facets. So how do you deal with that? Because I that at any moment a kicker's at risk of like, oh, bench him or take him out. Where a DB slips up and you see him ride, or a wide receiver slips up and you see him ride. Kickers are a little bit different, it's not the same.
James LaGamma:Yeah, there's usually less of us on the team too right, we're not as deep of a position and we don't travel heavy either. So if a kicker were to go down on the road, usually you bring a kicker and a punter Hopefully they are versatile enough to do both and then after that you're scraping the bottom of the barrel. I've seen linemen kick. I've seen quarterbacks.
Kenny Massa:I've seen a bunch.
James LaGamma:Yeah, holders will get in there and kick. I mean, hell, I was a holder for a few years, but yeah, it's interesting. I've actually been in a couple of case scenarios too with all these other kickers and punters and stuff that I've played with, where I've rotated with them, actually very similarly to, uh, a, a cornerback and or receiver running backs, you know, getting or splitting time um, which is not really heard of in the kicking position. You're, you're usually either benched or you're, you're, you're kicking full season Cause you want to get a kicker to build confidence. To rotate them is like a huge confidence shock and it's like, well, I thought I was doing good, but now I got to wait for my next kick because I'm in rotation. It's a little odd. It fostered competitive drive though. So I mean, at the end of the day, when I was in these situations, I always picked team over me. Whoever's, the best player should be on the field. I think mostly everyone thinks that way, but they won't show off that way, because you have to have that confidence. You want to fight for your position on stuff, and I'm not saying you don't do that, I'm just saying by putting team before me, if you work hard, then the person in front of you has to work harder to keep their spot, and it just makes the team better, and so that was kind of my mantra when I was going through this.
James LaGamma:However, I may have took it a step further. That could be a little bit different, and I actually would help the other kicker if they're going through some problems, just because if the other one's starting that week I'm not starting, I might not be traveling. We got to make sure that we're making these field goals right. We didn't really have kicking coaches in college, so I had to kind of step up in that in that regard. But I mean, when I was in high school with Nolan though cause I, since you brought him up, I mean that was probably the most interesting thing ever. I mean, talk about a a weird mental battle, um, because he ends up being my best, one of my best friends uh, still to this day. I mean we're talking about 15 plus years now.
Kenny Massa:Yeah, it's definitely difficult.
James LaGamma:But it kind of goes back to that phrase. It breeded healthy competition, like we genuinely wanted the best for each other, but then we also had to compete with each other. So when he was doing well and I wasn't, I either had to find other ways and or had to try to continue to better myself. It actually kind of led me into punting a little bit and I got really good at it really fast, was able to transition, and then it kind of made that playing time situation probably a little less stressful and kind of that competition between one of your best friends. Um, at least that's the way I see it it kind of it kind of helped a little bit.
James LaGamma:But again, at the end of the day, I was always Nolan's biggest fan on the sideline when he went out there on the field, I was always rooting for him. I was always right there at the kick. I was always telling him, you know, keeping his, his two focal points or whatever, like hey, keep your head down, make sure you're doing that. Cause maybe that was the thing we focused on, uh warmups or whatever, but you know it is what it is. And then, and then that's that's in the two guys Grant uh Fogle, that I kind of most of my competition was against, uh, they ended up being our fraternity, um, and so you know there's still a relationship there.
James LaGamma:It wasn't like these guys were just acquaintances. I mean, yeah, they were teammates and you don't always have to get along with your teammates, but still there's times when you feel like you're more deserving to be out there. But at the end of the day, you can't throw yourself a pity party right. The more you kind of sulk in that you kind of to have that almost that moment of solitude and reflection and and you kind of go back to the drawing board. And then what I would do is basically go key in on the fundamentals again. Um, that's usually what always helped me get back onto the field and or just get my, get my shit in order, um, and then kind of grow from there once I've got the fundamentals back now and put myself in the position to play again.
Kenny Massa:Makes sense. It is difficult, but I didn't think of the position with Grant Fogle. It is unique because Nolan you were really close with and then you kind of fell into a very similar situation in college with and you know, kickers are also in a weird place too, because you're like they're like off to the side doing their own fucking thing in practice.
Jonny Strahl:We got to find our own room of the field.
Kenny Massa:Yeah, they stick together. So you guys are hanging out in a different capacity, no matter what, Whereas, like you know, DBs or wide receivers you could do your thing and then you come back as a defense or as the offensive side and you're working together with other team members. So it's a little bit different. I mean, you're in a really unique situation there, so it's cool to see you foster you know what. It's really cool to see how close you are with Nolan still to this day, and both of you went to amazing colleges and did your thing there.
James LaGamma:Yeah, and he's an amazing kicker, like he's really really fucking good, he, he. He just took off senior year and and then in college he was so fucking good. He had some hip problems. I know injuries always hurt people. I mean shit, I broke my neck and all that kind of stuff too. I hurt my back in high school as well, which hurt my position and how I was able to play. It all happens, but yeah.
Ryan Selimos:Cool, interesting stuff. I think, kenny, you kind of have said the term a couple times. This context we're getting from James. It is unique because you think about sports. You think about football, one of the most grueling, physically tasked sports out there. But I don't think a lot of people think about that from the kicker position, right, I think a lot of people and James you correct me if we're wrong it is more mental because you see it can go from being on top of the world where you're the best kicker in the league and it can fall off a cliff real fast, real quick.
Ryan Selimos:And I think of there was a kicker from Florida state, robert Aguayo got drafted in the second round, which is unheard of for a college kicker going to NFL comes in with all this hype, missed a couple of kicks you know that rookie season and was never the same, could never recover. And it wasn't like he became a bad kicker, it wasn't like his fundamentals, you know, from a, from a physique standpoint, he lost everything. It was all in his head. So I think it's just interesting. We get to kind of go inside your head a little bit and inside your experiences with that and understanding from a different angle. But I think St At least in my analysis, I think St Thomas Aquinas and going to a high school like that Was able to teach you a lot of lessons Early on, because here you are In a competition For a position that typically doesn't have a competition, but you're looking at everyone around you and you know the difference between starting and bench warmer was minimal. So you're getting to see that Every single day and you're seeing the success. You're seeing state championships and all those types of things, and I think that really propelled you for college. Because you know, in college I think you were one of the mentally toughest people we had on the team.
Ryan Selimos:I don't think a lot of people knew that, though, because you were. You had to battle against complacency every day. You said this you had three kicking coaches in high school. You didn't have any in college, so you really could have done whatever you wanted. No one would have known, no one would have batted an eye. In practice, it was just can you make the kicks or not? So I guess, how did you handle that? Just your attitude, your approach, from you know all that structure to now you're in college, you don't really have anyone watching you. And how did you? How did you battle every day with complacency and oh I'll, I'll give a little bit of effort, you know, but you did it. You pushed yourself each and every day to be your best and I think people saw that and I think people had a lot of respect for you as a result of that. So can you just maybe take us down that path a little bit?
James LaGamma:Yeah, and first thing I'd like to say about some of the comments that you've made is, if you're a kicker and I'm drafting on fantasy football, you will be drafted in the higher rounds. I'm just saying that right now. I'm just saying that right now. It carries on all right for the brand. But you know, a lot of different things come to mind when we're talking about this. So, as far as completency, it's very sports, is very translatory I don't know if that's a word Translates well into life you are the only one that can determine how much effort is being put in to reach whatever goals or what you're willing to give, essentially Right. And so, as a kicker, with all that time on my hands at practice, with no one to tell me what to do except hey, at minute, what do we used to go up to 240 sometimes at practice, like 190, you're going to have to do some field goal practice. I mean, I got to get warmed up for that and all that stuff. What am I doing for the rest of the day? I got to get warmed up for that and all that stuff. What am I doing for the rest of the day? So you know, you just have to know what you want and you need to work for it. So, like I could be the lazy kicker and I could have went into the locker room and hung out, played video games or went to you know, just stretching all day long. I mean, then you become too flexible and then the kicks don't work out well. So instead we worked on little drills. We basically planned out our entire practice. I worked a lot with this long snappers, but being mindful that I couldn't kick so many balls to where I would just have dead leg and then I couldn't perform that week. So you had to be strategic and smart and do a lot of mental reps actually, which is kind of strange. But the more you do mental reps I mean I can 10x how many reps I've actually done right, I think there's a couple of people I've talked about doing mental reps before, but I think one of the things that benefited me most is I was very I worked hard at finding different ways or different angles or changing things up to try to progress.
James LaGamma:We used to do plyometrics, we used to work on our core, on our rotations. We would do certain trainings in practice as well, as kind of focused in on hip explosion and generating fast, twitch muscle fibers, which is why I did a lot of ladder work and stuff like that, so that way I could take my role, my position, that much further to compete against everybody else. And by changing things up I was able to really learn and hone in on the craft. It made me into a halfway decent coach too. I could see things a little bit different. And then, watching film and getting all that information and all that stuff together, we were able to plan out the week on how we would approach it Place kicking on Monday, punting on Tuesday, kickoffs on Wednesday, et cetera, et cetera.
James LaGamma:But having that different way of thinking sometimes creates better results. Sometimes it doesn't, and you just have to kind of evaluate. So it was a lot of trial and error. I feel like I was doing like the scientific method, constantly out in the field. But again, you just you have to practice with intensity. I'm watching all of you guys bust your ass out there and I'm just sitting on the fucking sideline holding chains. Sometimes you know like it's a little embarrassing to say, but I had to go find things to do, um, so I was also combating some boredom, but you know it is what it is.
James LaGamma:So we put ourselves in a lot of situations. I remember one game we had such crazy wind that I couldn't drop the punt very well. So what I ended up doing was I had Kevin, our equipment manager. I had him pull out the fucking giant ass fan and put that shit right in front of me so that way I can try different angles of dropping when there's high wind, so I can get better at controlling the ball when I'm trying to pump the ball, because if I have a 10-yard punt and we're on the goal line, we're screwed.
James LaGamma:That team's going to have prime time real estate. They can either kick the field goal or get the touchdown and then take over so long-winded. But that's basically it. I mean other than that, the mental battle that you have with the game. I mean you just have to have a short memory, and I think that that kind of goes on with life as well. As you get frustrated with something, you need to have a short, short memory and just kind of go on to the next thing. You know, the next kick is a new kick, the next task is a new task. You know you're not always going to be perfect, but you can try to develop skills and fundamentals, muscle memory and all that kind of stuff to to be good.
Jonny Strahl:So it's interesting that you know you. You broke all this down because I think Ryan can and myself, of course, can all agree that you know you are one of the most credible people when it comes to battling mental toughness and fighting that complacency right. I think you do all the actions and things to perfect your craft and I think that's a testimony to you. And I would like to almost pivot and ask you a question that I think a lot of what you just explained the buildup and being the best at what you can be, even though you were dealing with difficult variables. We were going into a year. We had a season where we were doing pretty well and things were kicking, things were screaming and you had a traumatic event. It doesn't even seem real sometimes when we talk about it now and your positivity always makes a joke out of it, but I would like you to kind of break down and just really share with us a little bit about the incident where and you did tackle the man very well you jacked him up.
James LaGamma:I didn't tackle him well, but I hit him hard.
Jonny Strahl:Fashion check and breaking necks. All right, you ended up breaking your neck in San Diego.
James LaGamma:Just walk us through your thoughts of one finding out the news, how you it even happened, and then really the road to recovery and then just really ending the following season as a senior um, you know we've had a previous podcast where I went to the details of the actual injury, like how it all transpired, so I won't't go too in-depth on that but for any new listeners, basically, fourth play of the game, we're early. It's maybe two minutes in, nothing like that crazy. We go four and out. I go hit the punt. Sideline tackle has to happen. I ended up. Instead of shooting my head across his body, I put my head right into his body, broke my neck, didn't know it. It dislocated C6 and fractured C5. It actually was very similar to the guy on the Brahmas or what's the. What is that? Semi-pro football? It's not the UF.
Ryan Selimos:UFL United Football League with the Rockets UFL is that what it is now?
James LaGamma:Very similar tackle, just on a punt compared to a kickoff. But we didn't know that. I broke my neck, so there was a lot of figuring out what the hell is going on on the sideline. I'm like something doesn't feel right. I hit him with my so-called left shoulder, but I'm feeling it on my right shoulder. What's going on here? Equilibrium is off. I can't walk straight. I started to get that back towards the end and basically they take my shoulder pads off. Tell me I'm not going back in the game and put a neck brace on me for crushing.
James LaGamma:Well, I didn't get carted off the field, went to the hospital, walked myself in with the cleats on straight through the front door of the hospital. It could have slipped, could have made this thing a lot worse. Um, but yeah and yeah, I kind of had no idea what was going on. I was still in the game. I was still wanting to know where we were at. San Diego is a big game for us, because everyone always wanted to topple them over in our era of playing, as much as maybe someone would think. Like I was a junior at the time, as you kind of pointed out, johnny, I came back from my senior year. But I don't know. I just think my normal like joking self was able to focus on positivity and kind of the people around me and you know I accepted it early on that I knew this was a serious injury. By no means am I undermining the severity of it at all. I mean, hell, they went in through the front of my neck. I've got a little scar up here. I mean, the surgery sounded gruesome. My mom was freaking out. She's all the way across the country and I'm just sitting there telling her like no, you're good, I'm all right, you don't have to come. I felt fine. I didn't really feel pain and maybe that's part of it, maybe it was the adrenaline, I don't know. But I think it's because I knew things were out of my control that I just let them happen and then I just took them one step at a time. I didn't really harp on the fact that I was injured. I didn't let it kind of become a burden In my head for some reason. Deep down I knew I was coming back. I just I knew I was in good hands. I had a great doctor Um, I think it was at sharp medical out in San Diego and you know I just again, I just took this to next step after next step after next step. It was first, all right, I got to get surgery. Then it was okay, we're going to fly home. Got to get in and out first.
James LaGamma:That's the lighthearted mental approach that I took, instead of being down and out and pissed off like, dang it, my season's done. The team is set up in a way to carry on without me. Same thing at work too. You could be sick one day and the team should be set up in a way for it to carry on. So I knew I was in good hands. Now I had to change and take on a different role and I needed to be that guy that could help, or just there on the sideline with them. I made it to every practice except for one right, and I just took the rehab and every step along the way as I needed to, kind of just stayed happy the entire time. It wasn't like a magical thing. I feel like there is some some choice in your um, mood and your emotions and I just chose to be positive. So I answer every question you had there, johnny. Can I answer every question you had there, johnny?
Jonny Strahl:I think you're on mute there. My friend, I am on mute. My apologies. Yes, you answered everything and I think the main focus is you just had to be positive, which I think is very critical and important, so I appreciate you sharing that.
Kenny Massa:Yeah.
Ryan Selimos:I think it's a great takeaway, man, because you know, as someone who and it's been referenced before I feel like I dealt with with depression, going through an injury, and you had every I mean you broke your neck. You, you couldn't fucking turn your shoulders without, you couldn't turn your neck without moving your entire shoulder, like you had every reason to come up with an excuse to sulk, to have a bad outlook, and you, you did it. And I think that's one. I think, if no one takes, if anyone watches this and that's the biggest takeaway is just, no matter your situation, you control your outlook and as a guy in a neck brace, you know you're trying to, you're trying to do college, you're trying to figure that out.
Ryan Selimos:All your you mentioned. You're in a fraternity, you're on a football team, and then you have a fucking broken neck like you could have thrown in the towel right there. Nobody would have said a word, no one would have judged you for it or anything. And yet there were times where and then you're the guy picking people up, You're the guy who's finding a way to look at the positive side of things and you look at this guy who's trying to be this positive person. It's like dudes in a fricking neck brace and it's inspired man.
Ryan Selimos:So I just want to say thank you. You were that. You were a light for me. You were probably a light for a lot of people and I hope that anyone who does hear this you know it helps them take a step back and and you always hear things aren't as bad as they seem. They're also not as good as they seem, but, but I think you know your experience is a great example of just how your mental outlook, that mental fortitude, you know you control, you know how you approach things, and you can't get a better example than a guy who broke his neck.
James LaGamma:I mean you met your wife with a broken neck. It doesn't get much better than that, no, no, I mean again, there's things that you can do to kind of help you stay in that positive mindset and not go into that dark hole. I mean, simply put, you can do things that make you happy. You have a lot of extra time. When you're injured or if you're going through something, you can key in on things like hey, I know this makes me happy, I'm going to go do that, elevate my mood, and then it carries on, and then you can carry out that day a little bit happier.
James LaGamma:I remember Adam and I. We were both hurt at the same time, so we played video games together. We played a whole career, like while everyone's on traveling, we're getting status updates Like how's the team doing, how's everyone prepared for the game, and actually I think that was our best season too, which is when I wasn't playing Correlation. I think not, but you know we were both hurt and we got to. You know, do something that was fun and kind of lighthearted and got us out of that funk. But to that point too, it's like you want to be around people, right, be around the people that you love. They help you get through things right. And so, like I had all you guys, I could lean in on the fraternity. I was able to lean in on my family, I was able to lean in on the team and that helps. You've got the training staff and all that stuff going on.
James LaGamma:I mean you just kind of have to trust the process, and that can go for anything. It doesn't have to be my specific scenario. If you trust the process and engage with professionals or whatever the situation may call, you can enjoy it rather than just sulking it. It doesn't all have to be fun and games, right, there's definitely some hard work that needs to get put into it. But there is fun stuff happening in your life and if you just let all the sadness kind of creep in, not only does it affect you but it affects people around you and people you just let all the you know sadness kind of creep in, not only does it affect you but affects people around you and people don't want to be around you.
James LaGamma:And then and then you know it's harder for you to get through it with others. So again, you kind of have to position yourself, be patient, you know, take those incremental successes as they come, as they compound into just major steps forward, or else you can just keep spiraling out of control, and that's what no one wants for anybody, in any situation. That's hard, you know. Break things down, do things that make you happy. Those kinds of things make a huge impact when you're going through stuff.
Kenny Massa:No, that makes sense and you've seen it in many different case scenarios. But more so because of obviously a unique injury that many people don't experience. You have the ability to go through more challenges than, I would say, the average just because of your perspective. So your unique view has definitely allowed and your mentality has allowed you to push forward, and I think that that doesn't only lead like on and off the football field.
Kenny Massa:We've been talking about that a lot and I think that that mentality and I have seen it in the business world a lot that mentality and I have seen it in the business world a lot but the mentality of that athlete that you begin to cultivate as a young person and you get these morals and characteristics instilled into you from an early age that you continue to use and leverage through your athletic career for many years. It becomes such a big part of you that drives you in many facets of life, and it has for me and I know for a fact that it has for many athletes. But do you use that same mentality off the field and in different circumstances, whether it be business or family or relationship, friends, anything?
James LaGamma:Yeah, you know, I think the ability to react well when you're facing a mental battle or facing adversity kind of comes from built up resilience, right, something that you develop over time. I mean resilience is basically being flexible and responding in changing situations, right. So I mean through parenting, teaching, coaching, friendships, my environment as a whole. It's kind of pushed me into this mode of thinking or positive, having flexibility, creative thoughts and processes and behaviors that it just kind of allows me to almost just be ready to face any obstacle that may come in my way. There's, there's something I can pull from any of those factors in in life where maybe it came from football and then I transitioned it into something that happened, um, in in life and personal life that you know I can. I can take that step back and kind of evaluate and see, okay, maybe from like a non-biased perspective, what's going on here, and then kind of evaluate and choose to be positive, laugh, smile and kind of lean into that. Right, life's going to throw you a bunch of obstacles. You have to have the ability to kind of like let it go, know that it's not in your control, don't let those things define you and definitely don't let it inhibit who you actually are. So kind of like that's the mantra that I have is, when something bad happens, don't let it define you right. Be who you are right, be who you are.
James LaGamma:And when difficult times strike, you want to be able to show up. And so once you have that mental clarity again, you can show up and be strong for others or yourself. And although you may not have the answers, you slow down, you take that breath, you ask the question, you listen a little bit, you kind of learn through every situation that gets thrown at you. Maybe hard to keep a level head at times, but again kind of comes back to going through things with people. You're never really alone, and so you kind of again you can be present with family and friends and support groups or whatever. Talking about it, I think, has actually been the most help for me when I'm going through something I know you know, you guys have been there for me in a lot of my personal battles and it helps to have those trusting people to be able to talk to, because then you can kind of, you know, get it off your chest, have that ability to move forward and move on in a positive direction.
Kenny Massa:Yeah, I like what you said there. I think that's something that comes to mind when you said that others are likely going through the things that you're going through. I think that I learned this in sports early on, and probably you did too. But it's like the chance that you're going through something that some, that no one else has ever experienced, is like excessively, excessively, excessively minimal. Like even in your, in the most difficult hurdles, whether it be personal or it might be a group thing or a business or family or friends, someone else has gotten through that and it is about finding guidance and seeking someone that might be able to shed light on their way through that circumstance, because one of the best ways to be educated to move forward through something is not just being educated in and of itself, but it's by talking with someone who has experience in it, understanding the experiences that you've acquired and then really truly putting to work and living the things that you have experienced based off of your past Meaning.
Kenny Massa:You experience something in a football game and you're like, oh, wow, it probably isn't the best thing to freak out about this case scenario, because we have seven seconds left on the clock. Like me, freaking out isn't going to get the job done, but me being more strategic and more structured to do so will maybe get the job done, and then you're really good at applying those things and using it as like leverage to move forward. So I applaud you for that. That's something that I've seen, especially you keeping your composure in circumstances that don't call for composure, and dealing with Ryan sometimes is difficult.
Ryan Selimos:I was going to say, dealing with you sometimes is difficult in terms of composure. You and I can agree that we have the least composure out of the four people on this call. We'll let James and Johnny duke out who has the most, but I think you and I yeah, but he didn't have to live with you. We'll have to get into that, into those discussions.
Ryan Selimos:But I will say, you know, living with James, you know we've spent a lot of time together, right, and you hit on it, james. You know being able to step back, be a mediator, um, really hear people out. I think that's a great takeaway for individuals, cause we all deal with problems with this family. It's friends, whatever. There has to be that person that has that, that balanced mindset, um, and I think you're that for us, which is awesome. Certainly not me, it's certainly not Kenny, but I think one thing that goes I don't know if it goes unnoticed, and sometimes it might be stress that you put on yourself, but you love vacations, you love bringing everyone together, but that comes with a lot of that, can come with stress, that can bring opinions, and we have a large friend group.
Ryan Selimos:We've talked about that and you do a great job of wanting to manifest moments to bring everyone together where, whether it's your lake house, it's a cruise, it's whatever trip. So what's process on your approach to being there for everyone, right by like, when you schedule these events, you always find a way to to ensure that everyone is taken care of and I'm just genuinely intrigued because the amount of time and effort and thought process on planning and saying well, johnny loves to do this, let's make sure we build that into the trip. Well, kenny loves this, we're going to make sure that we have time for that. I mean, you find a way and probably overextend yourself a lot to try to make everyone happy, and that takes a lot of effort. So where does that come from? Why do you put yourself through that stress? And then how do you manage through it?
James LaGamma:Um, I mean, naturally I gravitate to be around people and to surround myself around people, right, it always picks up the mood and, no matter what, any day of the week, if you're feeling down and you gave someone a call or you got around with a group of friends, your mood always elevates after that. So, by building these events and making sure everybody's happy to your point, I never really, I guess, truly plan it by myself. Sometimes we've planned things with committee, where there's a couple of us and we can figure out what we want to do, but a lot of the times it's just getting feedback. You know you can ask people like what do you guys think about these options? And then, after deliberation, you know someone has to make a decision and so then you just kind of gives the you'd make the decision. That gives the group the most opportunity for enjoyment. But I think the way of looking at it to make everyone happy or they're not wasting their money going on this trip or doing this thing, which is usually the top of mind for me, is I don't want people to waste their money, their hard-earned money, their time. Those are two things that are very hard to come by, and so I want everyone to have fun when they're getting together with everyone else. There's always some element of whatever we're doing as a group that someone will find enjoyment in. You can take anything, or you can put a spin on something anything at all and someone's going to have something that they like about that thing, a little element of it, and it may actually expose them to like the whole thing in its entirety. I can use golf, I can use going out onto the lake or whatever.
James LaGamma:You know, I mentioned Adam earlier. We'll harp on him for a second here. Adam doesn't like bodies of water. He doesn't really he's not comfortable in that area. So when he comes to Lake Placid, we go and we post up at the sandbar so he's not in deep water, he can see the bottom, and then he can still enjoy himself. Yeah, he still wants to drink and have fun and stuff, and I think that ends up edging off his mood a little bit there. But that put him in a position to where he can have enjoyment and have fun. And then he's doing. The thing that he likes to do is hanging out, drinking with friends, whatever stuff that we're doing, and they're listening to music. We could be playing spike ball, volleyball, whatever.
James LaGamma:There's so many things you can bring to the table to add a different element to the task at hand or whatever thing you're going to be doing, or whatever thing you're going to be doing, but not every time are you going to actually make everyone happy, and I think you have to come in with that mindset as well. And so the way I look at it is people love three things. It's very simple when it comes to doing stuff. They like food, they like laughing and they like being around people that they love. It's pretty easy. The event itself is just a vessel. The memories make themselves. We all get together and we create those memories. It's not the actual thing that we're doing. It's however we're acting, when we're having fun and hanging out and doing things together laughing jokes and stuff. That makes the memory. It's not that. Oh, I did this really cool thing. It's man, we were like 40 of us together. We had a great time, we were all doing this together. It all came together and it was it was just a blast.
Jonny Strahl:I love it. I think you've put together some really great events. James, give yourself a pat on the back. All right, I know you're trying to say a lot of us chip in and chime in and help out, but 97% of the time.
Jonny Strahl:So we appreciate you and including us sometimes on the on the committee, where we chime in a question. For you to kind of close this out here, it's like what are some of the tactics or what are some of the things that you're doing? I know you're a big individual who likes to learn right. What are some of the things that you've taken from an approach standpoint or really looked into that help you with distress management as a whole?
James LaGamma:Yeah, actually I think you helped me with one thing, johnny, specifically. Yeah, you kind of put a term to something that maybe I was trying to practice, but that's, uh, you know, seeking to understand. So, when you're stressed out, if you kind of take that step back and and self-reflection, um, you can assess your situation and then create a plan to kind of lay it all out there and be like all right, I can tackle this. Now it doesn't seem as daunting, right? Um, as well, as if it's just like something new to you can still take that step back, um, and then again plan to choose that uh, positive outlook, um, I've looked into the breathing techniques.
James LaGamma:I really like the breathing techniques. I think they're they're great. Um, I've, I've done a lot of the breathing techniques now in the mornings to set myself up for the day. Usually I'll do that prior to going to the ice plunge or something like that, or if I do meditation or stretching or mobility work or whatever. I think the breathing techniques they really get you in the right mindset, of gets you in the right mindset. We've talked about it before on the podcast.
James LaGamma:I think when you're in a high stress environment, doing something hard can kind of wake you up and get you into a better mental state, doing something physical or mental kind of combats what's going on. Even though you're going through something hard, if you step away from it, do something else that's equally as hard. You'll come back and realize this isn't actually that hard. I think, kenny, when we were talking about this, you mentioned how you'd get on like an hour Peloton bike ride. That's a mental and physical battle and then when you get done with it, you feel good You're ready to attack whatever is ahead of you.
James LaGamma:As I mentioned before, focusing on like things that you can control, that's huge. You know, don't try to control everything. That might actually add more stress to you. You know, take on the little small things it's kind of part of that plan and execute portion Small things before you expand to the bigger things. Let them compound a little bit. Going back to your fundamentals Back, as I mentioned when I was kicking, when you're going through hard times you can't figure something out. Go back to the fundamentals, fundamentals. Try different angles. You never know Different thought processes, do some research, whatever A different way of thinking. Go talk to a colleague and be like hey, I'm having this problem, can you help me out. Here there's people that will help you through things. So I think seeking help, seeking help, seeking to understand self-reflection, all these things, um, can really help you in a stressful environment. But at the end of the day, you gotta you gotta kind of let let some things go a little bit kind of to hold on so tight and be yourself.
Ryan Selimos:It's awesome, James. Just just thank you, man, Thank you for for kind of taking us, taking us down this path, taking us down your journey, your experiences. I know we hit a lot on football, which is just interesting because that's probably the thing you least want to tie yourself to, you know, with Johnny, and I Kenny, with the sports stuff, but you know, again, that perspective is just so unique. So thank you to kind of send us off. You know, for anyone watching this, anyone following this, what's maybe your message to anyone from a mental health standpoint, and just what's your message to those folks who are going through tough times or they're going through those those ups and downs that we all face in the normal day-to-day?
James LaGamma:Yeah, I don't really claim to be a master of mental health I'm not an industry professional at all but I think all of us are able to reflect on situations in our lives and kind of draw some conclusions from them on your mental capacities. You can learn a lot from self-evaluation and basically just continue to grow. Life is always going to have obstacles. You're always going to have to try to overcome them and it gets hard at times. So when it does get hard, I guess the biggest thing I could say as a takeaway from here is three words Just reach out and say I need or four words I need your help. Not I need help is what I was going with before. But make it more personal. Go reach out to a person, a group of people, support groups, people that have gone through similar or like situations that you're going through, and you'll be able to get through it. On the other side, there's always light at the end of the tunnel. Just take those small steps and be yourself throughout the whole process.
Kenny Massa:Awesome. Well, thank you, jamesames, we appreciate it and uh if only johnny could.
James LaGamma:I don't think johnny could have heard that right, johnny's like I don't need this I know. Hopefully I didn't bore him like I did garth in previous episodes. I appreciate it guys thanks, thanks for letting me chime in here, awesome well, until next time.
Jonny Strahl:Bender continues. Stop, bender continues. Johnny, great you.
